Feels Like The First Time
by Melissa7187
Summary: It's in her darkest moments that Aubrey remembers the first time that they touched and the first time that she truly felt loved and suddenly, it all doesn't seem so bad. Two-shot. Chaubrey
1. The First Time

**A/N: So this is a new pairing for me, but I love these two together and it just makes sense. Part of my love for Chaubrey has come from this website and the writing for this pairing is top-notch, so hopefully this doesn't suck. This is a two-shot story and this is part one.**

**Title is from the song by Foreigner and inspiration is from my ripped apart heart courtesy of Ingrid Michaelson and the below lyrics. Enjoy!**

* * *

_Eyes on the prize and I can't capsize this time,  
'Cause there's somebody else in my boat.  
Used to live alone in a tomb I made my own,  
But now I've gone and given up my coat._

_And it's cold outside but I'm just fine._  
_You are mine to keep warm._

_Keep Warm- Ingrid Michaelson_

* * *

**Part One: The First Time**

Aubrey was two weeks away from turning twenty years old the first time that it happened. She had been prone to anxiety her whole life, a product of her overbearing father and her terrible nerves, and the vomiting was nothing that was new to her. Doing it in front of her friends was though and as the rest of the Bellas looked at her in shock and gagged as she lost the contents of her stomach on the floor of their rehearsal space, her face burned and she wished that she could sink through the floor. She thought that she had control of this and that she would be okay, but her nerves had won out and as Alice berated her for missing her note in _Turn The Beat Around_…she had just lost control.

They were just about to walk over as a group to the Sigma Beta Theta house to perform at their annual mixer and the idea of performing in front of these strangers for the first time had sent her over the edge. She had been on the debate team in high school and pitched for the baseball team, but she couldn't consider any of those girls in her private school to be her friends and nothing like this had ever happened before. She had debated against a rival high school in front of a crowded auditorium, with her father perched in the front row, and didn't break a sweat. She had pitched five perfect innings in the state championship game without faltering for a moment. **This** though, this was painfully different and it had knocked her off of her feet and made her head spin. Somehow, these girls had become her friends and she just wanted to be at her best for them and that was all it took to destroy any semblance of control that she had over her stomach and to knock her out of their performance.

She was on her knees and wiping her lips with the back of her hand as Alice stared at her in disgust. While Alice was only a junior, she was a fierce leader and would do anything for the Bellas. She could be a nice person to be around when they weren't singing or dancing or preparing for a competition, but now was not one of those times and Aubrey could barely look at her as Alice glared down at her.

Alice tapped her heel against the concrete floor and waited for Aubrey to look up at her before she started to speak. Aubrey met her eyes for a moment and Alice just shook her head as she tried to come up with something to say to the girl. Something like **this **had _never_ happened at a Bellas' rehearsal before and for the first time in her life, Alice was actually at a loss for words.

It didn't last for long though and Alice wiped the smirk off of her face as she spat out "Get off of the floor, Posen. You're embarrassing yourself and the Bellas by acting like this. Take your scarf off too. You're not singing with us today."

Aubrey pulled herself up slowly as she stared at Alice incredulously. She had been preparing for this for weeks and to have it just ripped away over one moment of weakness…she could not handle that. Her stomach turned again and she didn't dare open her mouth as she slipped the scarf from around her neck and placed it into Alice's outstretched hand. Alice threw it into her bag and turned away from Aubrey, motioning for the other girls to follow her through the double doors and outside so they could carpool over to the frat house. Aubrey just watched them as they walked away and fought the tears from falling from her eyes. **This** couldn't be happening to her. She had finally found a group of people that cared about her and that she seemed to fit in with and it was over now. She had blown it, as usual.

The tears were warm as they slipped from her eyes and as she picked up her purse and walked through the emergency exit of the building to get some air, the sobs were quivering in her chest and she had to fight her legs to move forward. All she wanted to do was collapse on the floor and cry her eyes out, but she was a Posen and that was unacceptable. Anything emotional had always been off limits and her face burned as a whimper escaped her lips and she slid to the ground, sitting on the back steps of the building and resting her arms on her knees as she buried her face in her hands and cried.

* * *

She didn't expect what happened a moment later when warm hands were suddenly on her shoulders and a body lowered itself onto the concrete step next to her. She didn't have to look up to know who was there and the tears only slid faster down her face as the smell of strawberry bubble gum and floral body spray invaded her nose and made her anxiety disappear. It was unmistakable and after a year of being roommates and best friends, she would know that combination anywhere. It was sickly sweet and intoxicating and enough to calm her nerves and back her away from the edge.

A moment later, she heard rattling coming from next to her and soon found a small metal tin thrust in front of her. She wrinkled her nose as she looked down at it and Chloe softly said "Want a mint? Your mouth must taste awful and I always carry a bunch with me. It's kind of a necessity when Alice is constantly telling you that your breath reeks. Last week was fish and this morning it smelt like peanut butter. I don't even eat that stuff, so she must be crazy. Or high. Here, have a couple."

Aubrey slid a few from the tin and popped them into her mouth, slowly chewing as the minty flavor exploded over her lips and took the sick taste away. After a few quiet moments, she sniffled as she wiped her cheeks off with the collar of her crisp dress shirt and softly mumbled "Chlo, what are you doing here? You should be with the other girls and not stuck here with me. If you go now you could probably catch up with them."

Chloe chuckled as she found Aubrey's words completely ridiculous and swiped some of the damp hair away from Aubrey's cheeks. Aubrey looked away from her friend and bit her lip as the tears desperately wanted to slip from her eyes. Chloe's hands were soft and gentle as she pulled the hair off of her slick cheeks and slipped her hair out of the tight bun she had placed it into before heading off for rehearsals. Her blonde locks cascaded over her shoulders and Chloe ran a hand through it as she smoothed them down and tried to straighten out a few unruly pieces.

"I don't care about them." Chloe crooned as Aubrey seemed to relax with the touch of her hand. "You're my best friend and I couldn't leave you here by yourself. Don't listen to her, Bree. Alice is an idiot and you would have been great at SBTs today. Next year will be better, I promise."

"I just wanted to be normal, you know?" Aubrey lamented as she swiped away at a lingering tear in her eye. With a heavy sigh, she softly admitted "I didn't want to be the girl that I was in high school and I thought that if I kept it under control, you guys would like me. I'm terrible at making friends and even worse at keeping them and I made a fool of myself today. I'm surprised that you're even sticking around."

"Hey, you know me and you know that I'm not like the rest of them. I love you and this isn't a big deal. I've seen worse at frat parties and this…it was just a tiny thing." Chloe trailed off as Aubrey looked away from her and glanced down at the pavement below them. Chloe smiled sadly for a moment, knowing that Aubrey would never believe a word that she was saying, before the lie easily spilt from her lips. "They'll all forget about it once the weekend is over. You'll be okay."

Aubrey swiped the lingering tears from her eyes and said "No, I won't. I've always been like this and I don't know how to change. I don't want to be the person that blows under pressure and I just want to be happy. All I do is stress out about everything and college is supposed to be **fun**. Today wasn't though and I really wanted to perform with you guys and sing. Alice is never going to give me a solo now because she won't trust me not to screw it up." As she looked down at her hands and wrung them together, a single tear spilt from her eyes and her face burnt with embarrassment as she softly lamented "I screw everything up."

"Bree, you're not missing out on anything. We were just going to sing for a bunch of drunk frat guys and it's kind of stupid when you think about it. We get dressed up and torture ourselves to sing for a bunch of guys that don't pay attention to anything but our boobs." Chloe laughed as the sheer ridiculousness of their Bellas obligations settled in. "I'm glad to be here with **you** and not ogled by Terry, the quarterback, or Jeff, that guy that tried to pick you up at the diner last weekend. It's not a big deal and anyway, you're like the best singer in the Bellas and Alice would be stupid to not give you another shot at a solo."

"Save it, Chloe! I'm tired to embarrassing myself." Chloe looked away from her, closing her eyes for a moment as Aubrey seethed and choked back a sob. "Do you know what it's like to lose it in front of everyone like that? It's **awful** and I hated every minute of it. So, as much as I like hearing your platitudes, save them for someone that actually believes what you're saying. You won't find that here."

Chloe just shook her head and whispered "This isn't you, Aubrey, and you're not going to get me to leave by yelling at me. It takes a little more than that to get rid of a Beale. In case you haven't noticed, we're a clingy bunch."

Aubrey allowed herself to laugh at Chloe's statement and Chloe poked her in her cheek as a smile grew on her face. Aubrey's body seemed to settle at Chloe's words and Chloe just grinned and lilted "See, I told you that this wasn't so bad. You were wrong about not knowing what it's like to be embarrassed. I don't do this for many people, but I'm going to give you a flashback into the secret childhood files of Chloe Beale. Are you ready?"

"Do I really have a choice?" Aubrey retorted with a smirk growing on her lips. "Go ahead; impress me with your story. How could it be any worse than projectile vomiting all over the auditorium?"

"You'd be surprised. Okay, prepare to be impressed." Chloe smiled at Aubrey, catching her eye and cocking an eyebrow before starting her story a moment later.

"When I was about five years old, my parents would drag me and my big brother to Sunday school every week. We would complain the whole time because it was **boring** and all we wanted to do was stay at home in our pajamas and watch cartoons. Mom wasn't having it though and one Sunday, the kindergarten group was going to sing some songs for the whole church at morning mass. My mom was so proud because our teacher gave me a solo and she got me dressed up in this frilly dress with a big poofy train and she put a bonnet in my hair and everything." Chloe paused for a moment, laughing at the memory and composing herself before continuing. " I wish you could have seen me, Bree. I was a hot mess!"

"A _bonnet_? This I have to see." Aubrey giggled as Chloe shoved her gently. "God, I hope that your mom took pictures of this outfit. It sounds…precious."

Chloe shook her head and said "She has a whole album full; I'll have her e-mail you one later. Anyway, they dragged us all to the front of the church and my dad had his video camera out and my grandparents were there and they were all ready for my big debut. We sang a couple dumb Easter songs and then it was my turn to sing _Yes, Jesus Loves Me_. I had practiced that song every night for a month and as soon as the piano started and my teacher pointed at me, I froze."

"_You_ froze?" Aubrey asked in disbelief. "Somehow I find it hard to believe that someone like you, who _oozes_ confidence, would just freeze. What else happened?"

Chloe blushed as she continued with "Well, I opened my mouth and instead of singing, I peed my pants in front of everyone there. All of the other kids scattered and my dad almost dropped his camera and my mom was as red as my hair and **mortified**. All I could do was stand there in a puddle and cry until they ushered us out of the church and to our classroom. My brother laughed at me for months, you know how Adam is, and I still hear about that when I come home to visit. My dad even has it on video, but I have it stashed somewhere where they'll never find it."

"Wow, that's pretty terrible. I don't feel so bad anymore after hearing that." Aubrey joked as Chloe reached out and shoved her again, both girls starting to laugh and relax for the first time since joining each other on the steps.

"See? I told you that it wasn't _that_ bad." Chloe assured with a smile small. "It's just a cappella and anything that happens here isn't the end of the world. We sing and dance to _Mariah Carey_ and we take it **seriously**. That's enough reason to lighten up a little when you're around these girls and to just have fun. You may have puked, but they're dancing to _Gloria Estefan_ right now and that's **super** embarrassing. So, will you stop crying now and go back to the dorm with me? Please?"

Aubrey just nodded and stood up, extending a hand for Chloe to grasp and pulling her to her feet as well. They were inches away from each other as they balanced on the step and Aubrey averted her eyes as she blushed and murmured "Thank you for coming back, Chloe. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here and you really made me feel better. Thank you for staying and being a good friend."

Chloe grinned and as she drew a little closer to her friend's face, she softly confessed "There's no place else that I'd rather be. I'm kind of fond of you and this is better than anything that those idiots are doing right now. Are you ready to leave?"

Aubrey shook her head as she raised her eyes to look into Chloe's and she couldn't stop herself as she moved forward and pressed her lips against Chloe's. It wasn't the first time that they had kissed, which had come courtesy of a drunken game of spin the bottle, but this time was different and she felt the spark as Chloe's lips kissed her back and made her head spin. It was the nicest thing that she had ever felt in her life and as Chloe slid her tongue over her bottom lip and deepened the kiss, Aubrey didn't have a single care in the world.

It was the first time and it certainly wasn't the last. It was the first perfect moment of her life and she never wanted to forget it. As Chloe snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her close, Aubrey knew that forgetting would be impossible and let herself hold Chloe back and return the sentiment. For the first time in her life she felt like she belonged somewhere and this…this was normal. Normal and perfect and a million adjectives that had slipped from her brain as Chloe shoved her straight over the edge.

There was no turning back and for the first time, Aubrey was glad that someone had stuck around for her.


	2. The Last Time

**A/N: Thanks for reading this fic! This is a new pairing for me and it's quickly taking over and making itself my new favorite. This is not a good thing...**

**Anyways, I rewrote the first part of this because I changed up my writing style, but if you've already read it nothing much has changed. Just the dialogue and sentence structure, but it's not a big deal. This is kinda smutty, but I think it teeters enough on the edge of T and M that I can keep it rated as it is...I hope...**

**Review if you want, I LOVE feedback!. Thanks for all of the follows and faves that this got from the first chapter and I hope that you enjoy!**

* * *

_Eyes on the prize and I can't capsize this time,  
'Cause there's somebody else in my boat.  
Used to live alone in a tomb I made my own,  
But now I've gone and given up my coat._

_And it's cold outside but I'm just fine._  
_You are mine to keep warm._

_Keep Warm- Ingrid Michaelson_

* * *

**Part Two: The Last Time**

Her feet were damp and sticking against the linoleum floor and if she wasn't falling apart, she'd be freaking out. It was just so disgusting and as she tried to imagine the last time that these floors were thoroughly scrubbed, she sat on the closed toilet and sighed. The room was still warm from the shower that Chloe had forced her into as soon as they got back and she didn't remember removing her blazer or discarding her shirt or shimmying out of her tight skirt.

There were red patches on her arms from the scalding water and she was sure that they matched her face, which was still burning from her mortification. From being on that stage and losing it in front of all of those people. From watching her fellow Bellas gag and grimace as she collapsed to her knees, holding back tears as they abandoned her on that stage.

* * *

Chloe didn't leave. Chloe never left and for that, she was grateful. The girl swept in like some kind of angel and guided her off of the stage and past Alice and the other girls, who were waiting to tear her apart behind the curtains. She rushed Aubrey past them before they could say a single word and Aubrey glanced back as they made their way to the emergency exit and she could see Alice's mouth dropped open and it would have been amusing if she wasn't so sad.

* * *

All it took was the cold evening air to hit her in the face and she ran. She ignored Chloe's voice as she called out for her to stop and the pain in her feet as the shoes pinched and just kept pressing forward.

She had to get away. She had to find somewhere where no one knew her and knew just how big she had screwed up.

She pushed past the people on the sidewalk and just ran, letting her body guide her through the unfamiliar city and to a place where she could just collapse. She just wanted to be alone.

* * *

She didn't get very far. The shoes that Alice loved so much were also very cheap and it only took a few strides against the pavement until one of her heels broke off. She fell forward, but warm arms grabbed her before she hit the ground and pulled her back to her feet and shoved her against the closest wall. Her eyes were squeezed shut and the tears were desperate to escape and she just wanted to break down. She stopped herself though and opened her eyes, her curiosity getting the best of her as she wanted to see just who had rescued her from scraped knees and bleeding palms.

She wasn't surprised when she saw Chloe standing there and she couldn't stop herself from gasping and slinking to the ground, her perfectly pressed skirt resting against the filthy pavement and Chloe instantly kneeling next to her. She felt so weak as she began to cry, but Chloe didn't mind and pulled her into her arms and just held her. She let her girlfriend cry into her blazer and dampen the fabric and didn't move an inch until she was sure that Aubrey wouldn't wither and pull away. Comforting Aubrey Posen was a task that Chloe didn't take lightly and she knew that she had to consider each action that she took so that she didn't push her away. That was the last thing that she needed after a night like tonight.

She knew it was okay though when she slid Aubrey's heels off of her feet and tucked them into her purse. When she tucked an errant strand of hair behind an ear and kissed her cheek. When she took off her own shoes so Aubrey wouldn't feel so embarrassed when they eventually walked back to the hotel. When she offered a hand for her to take so they could get out of this alley and back to somewhere safe.

Aubrey accepted it and Chloe knew that they would be okay. She knew it when she wrapped an arm around her back and wasn't met by protests or bristling. When Aubrey rested her head against the crook of her neck and just let Chloe guide them back to their hotel. It was nice and if Aubrey wasn't so emotional and she didn't feel so drained, it would have been kind of romantic to walk like this under the stars and against the crowds that packed the streets of Manhattan.

For now, she just wanted to go home and she took Aubrey back to their hotel, ignoring the looks that the receptionist gave them as they walked through the lobby, barefoot and haggard. They took the elevator up to the fifth floor and Chloe swiped their keycard in the door as Aubrey leaned against her, emotionally spent from everything that had happened. She guided her into the room once the door popped open and propped her up against the wall, sliding her blazer off of her body before running a shower.

The water was hot and the steam was escaping from the tiny ensuite, but Aubrey didn't move. She allowed Chloe to guide her skirt down her thighs and over her feet and onto the floor. She looked away as she unbuttoned her stained dress shirt and flung it onto the floor, joining the rest of the clothing as a reminder of just how much she had ruined everything tonight.

Aubrey took care of things from there. She stumbled into the bathroom and closed the door behind her and Chloe stood there for a moment, listening for the curtain to open and shut before she was sure that Aubrey was actually showering and not hiding out in there to cry.

Once the assurance came, she stepped away from the door and glanced at herself in the mirror. Her hair was messy from running after Aubrey and her shirt was wrinkled and her skirt had a tear in the side. Those clothes were definitely not made for the events of the evening and as she unbuttoned her skirt and let it pool at her feet, her face crumpled as her emotions threatened to finally come out. She had kept it all inside as she walked Aubrey home, knowing that her crying would just upset Aubrey more, and now it was so difficult to keep her composure as everything became real.

Aubrey had blown it and they had lost. Everything they had worked for was ruined and she was pretty sure that none of the other girls would ever talk to her again after she stayed with Aubrey and ignored them. She had chosen her side and now she would have to live with it. She knew that she had picked correctly though and pushed those thoughts aside as she bit her lip and released her hair from the tight bun, allowing it to cascade in loose waves against her shoulders and to make her look human again.

She was going to be okay. **They **were going to be okay.

* * *

Aubrey slipped out of the bathroom and was surprised when she didn't see Chloe sitting on the bed in their room. She was nowhere to be found and she wouldn't have been surprised if the girl had actually left her for once. If she had gone downstairs and gotten a room for herself so she wouldn't have to face what an embarrassment her girlfriend was. She wouldn't blame her and if she weren't so tired, she would do the same thing.

She _knew_ that she was being ridiculous and when she saw that Chloe had laid out pajamas for her on the edge of the bed, she couldn't help but smile. She knew that she probably went for ice or something from the vending machine and let the towel drop to the floor as she pulled on the nightshirt and climbed into bed. She had never been so tired in all of her life and she just wanted to drop off and into sleepless dreams, but she fought against the sleep and waited up for Chloe to come back.

It didn't take long for the door to unlock and pop open and Chloe shuffled into the room, trying to keep quiet as she suspected that Aubrey was asleep. She was sitting up in bed though and Chloe smiled as she sunk onto the edge of the mattress and held up a tiny bottle of _Pepto Bismol_ that she had managed to procure from the store in the lobby. She balanced it between two fingers and waved it back and forth gently before offering it to Aubrey.

"What's this?" Aubrey asked as she took it from Chloe's hands and looked over the bottle. "You paid eight bucks for this?! Are you crazy?"

"No." Chloe shook her head as she slid next to Aubrey and pulled the blankets over her legs. "You were sick and I know that your stomach must feel awful and this always helps me. Drink some; it'll make you feel better."

Aubrey made a face, but opened up the bottle and poured some into the little cup that was included. She sipped it, letting it slide over her tongue and down her throat where it would soothe the ache in her gut and erase the concerned expression from Chloe's face.

Sometimes it was hard to have someone care about her the way that Chloe did. Only sometimes though, because most of the time...it's actually kind of nice.

* * *

She placed the bottle on the bedside table and flashed Chloe a thankful smile, blushing when Chloe returned it and reached out for her hand.

"Thank you, Chloe", she whispered as Chloe laced their fingers and squeezed her hand. "For getting me out of there and taking care of me. Thank you for everything."

"It was nothing", Chloe murmured as she wrapped an arm around Aubrey's back and pulled her close. "I'm just glad that you're feeling a little better. I was worried about you and I hate seeing you cry." She paused, kissing the hand that she had raised to her lips and rubbing it against her warm cheeks as Aubrey sighed. "We're going to be okay, Bree. It's all going to be okay."

"Thank you for staying with me. You could have left, but you didn't and it...it means everything." The tears glistened in her eyes and she worried her lip as one escaped and made its way down her cheek. It glided down her cheek and balanced on her chin before finally plopping onto the back of Chloe's hand. "**You're** everything."

* * *

The tears and the light were making her green eyes glow and she looked so beautiful as she teetered between breaking down and holding it together. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and the nightshirt was barely closed, only the top three buttons were fastened and were leaving so much exposed as she lied back on the mattress. Chloe traced her bare legs with her eyes, making her way up her thighs and stopping at her exposed panties, her face blushing as she imagined touching her and loving her and hearing her cries in the silent room.

It was too much and she looked away for a moment, controlling her breathing as she reached out and placed a hand on Aubrey's bare abdomen. She traced the hint of muscles and leaned close to her, her breath warm and sweet against Aubrey's nose as she murmured "You're so beautiful, Bree."

The smell of strawberries lingered in the air as she moved away from her face and settled on her neck, placing open-mouthed kisses on the tender skin and smirking as Aubrey squirmed underneath her. She could do this all night. She **had **done this all night and it was addicting. She was infatuated and in love and pleasing her girlfriend was the ultimate high. She just wanted to make her happy. It was the best kind of addiction.

* * *

"Sometimes I have to fight myself from touching you", Chloe whispered as she cupped Aubrey's face with her palms and drew tiny circles on her cheeks with her thumbs. "We'll be rehearsing or in class or back in our dorm and all I have to do is look at you and it..."

She trailed off as her cheeks burnt and Aubrey **knew** just what it did to her. The thing that drove Chloe into her bed most nights, splaying her body across hers and murmuring into her chest as her hands wandered and her mouth hungrily kissed hers. The urge that had them skipping out of practices the moment that Alice declared them over and searching for an empty closet or classroom because they just _couldn't_ make it back to their dorm room. It was something, it was everything. Aubrey was just as addicted.

She was addicted to the feeling of warm hands on silk as fingers slipped under elastic and guided the soft material down her thighs. Supple fingers ghosting over sensitive skin before going just where she needed them to be, setting the pace that would push her over the cliff and into ecstasy. The pace that was neither too fast nor too slow, but unpredictable so she could never quite get used to it.

She dreamt about warm breaths teasing her and burying her hands in smooth hair as she tried to bring talented lips a little closer to her. The same lips that pressed against hers and swallowed the moans that desperately wanted to escape her lips when Chloe finally brought her there. To the point where she was keening and calm and languid and...happy.

* * *

Aubrey was kissing her now, her lips soft and warm against Chloe's, and moving her hands down the body that she loved so very much. She knew every inch of this terrain and as she slid her hands under the elastic of her oversized pajama bottoms and rested her fingers on the outside of her panties, teasing her as she moved her lips from her mouth to her neck, she was surprised when Chloe told her no. She never said no and Aubrey felt the bottom drop out from underneath her as she pulled away, stunned and worried. She felt like she had jumped into a freezing pool and as her fingers trembled as she pulled her hands away from Chloe, the tears began to fill her eyes again.

"Don't cry, Bree", Chloe whispered against her lips as she took her trembling hands in her own and squeezed them as the girl calmed. "You're upset and I'm not going to take advantage of you when you're like this."

"I'm not-"

"Yes you are and it's okay." Her words were tender and calm and enveloped Aubrey like a warm blanket. "I care about you too much to let you do this. I don't want you to regret this in the morning. Okay?"

Aubrey simply nodded as her bottom lip began to tremble, the events of the evening suddenly flooding her mind and filling her with dread as she imagined just how terrible it was going to feel when she woke up again. Shaking as she packed her bag and clutching Chloe's hand as they took the shuttle back to the airport and blushing as the other Bellas just glared at her from across the terminal.

She didn't want to go to sleep. She didn't want to wake up. She didn't want to leave this place.

* * *

Chloe knew. Somehow she always did and as she relaxed against the mattress and pulled Aubrey's head down to rest against her chest, she finally felt it. Chloe's breaths were calm against the top of her head and her hands were so warm as they rubbed soothing circles against her back and she finally realized just what she had been fighting. What she had been pushing out of her head each night that she fell asleep thinking about Chloe. What she had never expected to feel.

* * *

"God, I love you", she breathed against Chloe's skin as she held her tightly. It was the first time that she had ever said those words, but they felt so right and the little smile that Chloe gave her let her know that it was okay. That she was never going to leave her and that it was alright. That she wasn't alone. "I think I always have."

"I love you too." Chloe's words were firm and reverent and Aubrey believed them with every part of her body. She had always believed in Chloe, it was impossible not to with a person who was so open and honest, but this time it went beyond just accepting her words. She could actually _feel_ them and they were warm and soothing and everything that she had ever needed.

* * *

"I just wanted to hear you say it first", Chloe murmured as she tugged Aubrey closer to her and rested her head in the crook of her shoulder. Her breaths were shallow and even and as she dropped off, she whispered "I've known since the moment I saw you. I'll always love you."

It felt like the first time that Chloe had pulled her into her world and made her feel loved. Back when they sat on those cold steps and Chloe soothed her when she felt like her world was ending. When being held out of a performance for a bunch of drunken frat guys was the worst thing that could ever happen to her. When she wanted to sink through the ground and disappear before a small smile and comforting words and those big blue eyes were enough to save her.

She felt so loved and maybe that was all that mattered. Maybe life was always going to be disappointing and maybe she was always going to mess up. Maybe she was never going to please her father or meet his expectations. Maybe nothing was ever going to end up the way that she expected it to. Maybe it was okay.

Maybe she could let go now and let this girl love her. She could believe in warm lips against tender skin and that those arms would be enough when it all went to ruin. That those hands would always hold hers and that those eyes would always look back at her with love and adoration. That she would always have a home and a place in those arms.

Chloe loved with her whole heart and maybe that was enough to believe in. To buy into. To get her through all of this.

Her love was enough. It always had been and it always would be.

* * *

She was going to be okay.


End file.
